Attachment styles in gay dating

Anxious attachment and dating

If your attention fully shifts to the other person from the first messages, you may be operating from an anxious attachment pattern. It is not a defect, it is something you learned. Taking intentional pauses before replying and keeping your daily routines helps you regulate.

Avoidant attachment

If you pull away when someone truly shows interest, you may be protecting yourself by creating distance. Instead of blaming yourself, notice what kind of closeness feels overwhelming and name it quietly: “I need to go slower to feel safe.”

Queer Compass Editorial Team

Experts in emotional wellbeing and safety within the LGBTQ+ community.

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